I feel that only when I do things that are good for others that bring me some happiness. It’s not someone that I want to impress it’s simply if we can make a tiny bit of change to make a day better then I would do it. I do not force myself to do things good for others nor do I force myself to become a good person. From my instinct, it’s the habit that makes us the person we are today. It’s not at all of a sudden I want a house clean, my clothes to smell good and missing all the dirt, it’s not sudden that I want to keep things in order and in the places they belong to. My mom is the example I follow, she’s in my mind a hard-working housewife, she did things in silence and with care that I remember too well, and what I am doing today exactly reflects her. So is my dad, a hard-working honest person who is an example of a person who values honesty, hard work, and the knowledge that we earn from reading and studying, he is a good example I want to follow and what I am doing today is reflecting almost exactly what he was doing when I was living with him in his house. Parents are imperfect, and there are things I realize and try to avoid, I will become a better parent than at least what I believe in. But for everything I blame them, it’s actually the imperfection of the person that I was responsible for building it.
I have never thought I am doing good enough, laziness is a sin and I would work until my last breath of old age. I will work until my eyes cannot see clearly, I will work until my bones and muscles are hard to keep myself standing straight and against a single unit of Earth gravity. It’s the joy I can find to fulfill my curiosity, it’s the joy for me to know and learn more about this Earth and its past and its possibilities. I cannot rewrite whatever I learn and post it here because whatever I know and learn and hear and receive is too little if I ever speak about my knowing it’s just a way of proving how dumb I am. Things that I would post here are just random words that I would speak to myself alone when I have no one who would listen to me. In fact, we are lonely in this world, we were born with our mom and dad who witnessed the very first moment of our first breath and the first light came to our eyes but then they were not going to be here with us, it’s us to be the person to observe them getting older, moving slower and we are the person who makes them smile at the first meet and we will be the person who cries at last meet, and we are lonely in this world we will die alone for sure no one will go with us to the next life, your wife and your husband, one of the two will have to stay and live alone, soulless. Our kids are too busy with their own business and their own life, they are busy seeking their own path of happiness and here we are sitting on the bench alone and the only things that appear in our minds are the moments in the past, that happy past. The happy moments are too few but everyone has a few and just a few is good enough for us to replay it every day and we will never be tired of mesmerizing them.
Life is definitely a movie in which we are the ones who direct and the main actors of it. It’s the director who himself has to figure out what is the next scene and how to make it good. It’s the next scene can be tragic or vivid with colors and good smells and cheerful. Everything we are fighting for is things that we believe are good and meaningful. Keep up the good work and do your best to become a good part of the community and build a life if not our own it has to be anyone else. Believing in positive things and moving in the direction that makes us do positive things.
Anyway, you know that whenever I write an article that is too much self-reflecting then that means I mostly stay indoors, and do my things. You know. There is not much to tell, just write out the thoughts.