To be frank, I do think about marriage, but with the condition that my partner is helpful. I’m trying to be straightforward here. I’m not thinking about controlling, being abusive, or taking her money or taking advantage of her. I just want that I’m not too tired of financial issues. Buying a house is costly right now; if someone gives me 1 billion VND right now, she’s just perfect. I mean, see, at least she is not fully relying on me; she has something and shares a part of being a family provider. I think the role of women in today’s world is so important; they are not limited to childbearing and childcare, but they can also participate in the economic structure. Where they can be a part of the system to produce, a part of the value chain. Saying a man is doing most of the work is wrong, really. A man needs a woman to survive; they need them to balance their mood out. Men need sex and emotional care; they need a mother and a wife.
Nonetheless, I don’t think a wealthy woman is mandatory, I just value whoever can do their job well and be stable in their life, at least they know how to control their finance. Financial management is a real deal here; not everyone can do it, including me. Have you ever cared about suppressing your emotions on spending money? Like, do you really, really care about its worth? If you purchase anything, do you see if it’s really bringing value to your life and it’s really making sense? Being disciplined in money spending requires huge emotional suppression and intelligence. Therefore, I value whoever is able to keep their finances stable, they don’t need to spend all of their money and leave modestly, stay low while keeping their life in balance: a healthy, happy life does not always require luxury spending.
Due to this mindset, I apply this to finding a partner, and that kind of person is rare, one of the rarest kinds of people on Earth. I mean, I’m not saying we have to be selfish on ourselves and suffering every day, I just say that: as long as you are asking questions, reasoning, like “why?”, “Why are we doing this?” is already enough. It’s not about saving all the money, but it’s about being “smart”. I value smart people, and if I do care about having a partner who will work with me to build a family, then this is one of the most valuable traits I care about. She would not just be smart in money spending, but by being a critical thinker, she’s not going to just ask “why” on buying things, but “why” on many other things. Like, why is this relationship not working out? Why it happens, how it can be fixed, and so on. That means her career could be more stable than others, and so is other of her life: like physical health and mental health.
Of course, despite honoring “smart” women, I am still an emotional creature; if the woman is able to give care and emotional support, then this is, nevertheless, also far more important than anything else. Because that’s what makes me “love” a person – connection, care is one of the human’s mandatory needs. How can we live without love, right? It makes our living more vivid, in the most difficult times, where we have nothing (like during the Vietnam War), family, love are the only things left that drive us moving forward. And because of love, this is a great emotion, a great motivation, that makes us do our best to serve our relationship. The woman and the man will strive harder, work harder to protect their family and wealth.
So if you see your husband/wife being lazy or abandoning their responsibility, they are not loving each other. These are all my personal thoughts; interpret them the way you like.