Returning to Hanoi on September 1 was the decision that I carefully calculated based on the benefits of myself and everyone. First, when I returned to Hanoi, I renovated the house, equipped it with items that help the life of my sister and whoever lives in that house better: a trash bin, a mounted clothes rack, a newer shower head, a microwave, a vacuum cleaner, etc. I also cleaned the kitchen and fridge and kept fresh food in the fridge. I clean the cabinet, remove stale foods, and keep the floor clean.
Initially, I was thinking of living with parents, but due to the house being cramped with too many stuff that I cannot help to renovate it, and the house is small, no real estate for storing all stuff and equip with new stuff (even new stuff cannot fit), moreover, logistic to Hoa Lac (40km away from downtown) is a nightmare, at least from my experience it was. Therefore, I decided to live with my sister in the 1 bedroom apartment for that reason, so I can build my own space that is comfortable and convenient. Here in a modern apartment in Hanoi’s west side, at least I have access to the grocery and tennis court, which I use really often. I’m thinking about going to the gym too, but I must consider scheduling the time to go there. Since I’m going to be working on my own projects (lab work), I am focusing on stabilizing my current project at work. Since I’m taking on the leadership role, I must be able to perform well, like really understanding the businesses and processes in depth. Leadership is difficult for sure; it’s not easy to just inspire people and really help them out. At best, I can only do 15 minutes of delivering news, listen to teammates’ ideas, and see if I can do anything to make them become productive.
Overall, life here is good in Hanoi where I really live in the house that I can call “home”, which is not rented and I can rennovate it as much as I like, really, but of course, it’s not that much to renovate, it’s just that I want to make it more convinent, the overall design and structure of the building is the same, just facilities and amenities. I only use the couch, the desk, and the kitchen; that’s it. Most of my brain energy is put into the computer, no more than that.
One thing that I hate to think about is parents’ health; it’s only bad news when I think about family, tragedy. I wish I could be happier with family life, but it’s life, it is, it’s full of tragedy (but with happy moments too) and discomfort. Like when you’re beside your loved one or taste something good, wouldn’t you feel the pleasure? It’s a good piece of memories, bitter and sweet. But overall, life is only getting better as we strive.
Talk about what constitutes happiness, I think it’s more like from the inner self. If one has a clear goal and decides to do actual things instead of procrastinating, then that person can thrive. The environment, if it’s not suitable, then it’s better to be productive on our own. Think of yourself in the worst places and even in that place you can do a better living than it’s good, and if you’re in the best place, then if you are not trying, then life can still stay low-end. Basically, what I mean is that things aren’t until you put in efforts, like the house can never be tidy or clean if you use it but never maintain it.